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Archive for January, 2010

I had a really strong urge to go on a bike ride, and then I remembered it was 30 degrees outside. Oh yeah, and I’m 99% sure my bike is broken.

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I’m just going to type my thoughts and we’ll see where this takes me. I’ve not been feeling well the past, oh let’s say three days. I don’t know how to explain it. Hm. Warning: Terrible analogy upcoming. It’s like you have a really bad headache that won’t go away. And, you know you’re going to have to go through your day with it. Even the thought of that makes it hurt worse. You try to ignore it. You try to take pills to reverse it. You try everything you’ve ever used to heal them in the past. Even after all that, you’re still cursed with it. What kills you is that in everything you do you recognize it because it makes itself know. Like it’s saying “Hey! remember me? I’m still here.” You can’t even close your eyes without it hurting. You go to sleep and wake up to it waiting patiently for you. Why can’t you go away? Why can’t I just be happy. I was listening to Xiu Xiu as I was walking to my car after class today, and I can’t remember exactly what song it was, but the line was “I’ll never be happy again. I’ll never be happy as me.” That really struck me. That’s because it’s almost how I feel. There are things I’ve done that I will never forgive myself for. And, just like your headache it makes itself know daily reminding you what you did. That makes you think to yourself “where would I be if I hadn’t done that?” I feel like I’d be a lot happier. Or at least I’d be ok with the past. I think that’s what hurts the most- knowing I screwed up and realizing I’ll never be able to go back to that point again. Sometimes I can’t even look myself in the mirror without having summer flashback. Every time I hear an Andrew Bird, Bloc Party, or Ravonettes song without feeling the night air on my face or smelling the freedom that seemed to haunt every moment. I remember kissing her forehead. I remember every moment. And I can’t go back. And I can’t go back. And I can’t go back.

So what do I do now? I don’t even know. I can’t move on, but I have to. I have nothing resembling self-esteem or confidence in me. I think I’m nothing. I am nothing. At least, nothing to you.

Listen to whatever you want. Nothing matters.

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The new Shout Out Louds album leaked. I will not be posting the link. I might review it though.

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I used to really like Neil Young, and I still do.

Greatest Hits –www.megaupload.com/?d=5C4NMQYK

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One thing I should never do is read a band’s blog after I steal their not-yet-released album. The artist is Electric President. How do I elaborate on their sounds…. The Postal Service + Dntel acoustic influence + Chris Garneau esq vocals. That’s a pretty good description, I guess. Well, their blog entailed about woes with illness, computer problems, and touring problems. Needless to say I ended up wanting to buy their new lp.

Another thing, Hot Chip is amazing. “Thieves in the night”

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High Typing

I can feel the endorphins.

So, to break the break, here’s some music you really need to check out.

Band one: The Big Pink- I won’t go into depth about them, for you can do that for yourself, but they’re a great London based Electronic/Indie band.  The only was I can describe them is by calling them a “fuller” sounding The xx. That probably doesn’t make sense, but just try them. I really like the song Dominos. However, there are many a good tune on their début album A Brief History of Love. “Don’t Look Down” – Pitchfork.tv- http://pitchfork.com/tv/#/episode/2099-the-big-pink/2

Band Dos: The xx- I mentioned them in the Big Pink section, but definitely as great. The xx are hard to describe without saying a stripped down Big Pink. Hm, if Hemingway was english and made music that might be the xx. I don’t know any female minimalistic writers off the top of my head, but is she made music and sung along with musician H, that’d be the xx. I will warn you, the people I expected to be making the music does not coincide with the actual band. “VCR”- P4k.tv- http://pitchfork.com/tv/#/episode/2099-the-big-pink/2

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Just A Warning:

I’m going to take a week break from this blog. I feel like I need a breather from writing here. And while I didn’t need to notify all the none people that read this, I am. I’m just nice like that. If somehow I feel as though I have a sudden burst of creativity I will turn to ACSB, but for now and a week, I’m on hiatus.

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